My Pig Headed Son II - The Saga Continues

Oh yeah... He's done it again.

After what happened with Caleb, last December, it seems that he really calmed down. I don't know if he really understood that what he did was wrong and decided to change his attitude or if it was just that he was growing up and getting a little more mature. Things really slowed down. Of course, he still had his moments, but things were getting better.

I gave Roman a really hard time about letting Caleb escape like that. He said: "That could have happened to you too!". My reply: "Not on my watch". Ironically enough, it happened to me this time.

Yesterday was Tatyana's last soccer game. Everything was going well... Haley scored the only goal of the game and the girls finally won. Caleb was playing with Carter pretty much the whole time. I kept checking on him, just looking around, to make sure that I knew where he was. I didn't even take Alyssa out of the stroller. So, it wasn't that difficult to keep an eye on him.

At the end of the game, the coach was getting the girls together to take a group picture. And that's when it happened. Too many people walking by and I took my attention off of him to take a few pictures of the girls. And he was gone.

I looked around. Nothing. Went over closer to the fence were he was playing a couple of minutes before, but he wasn't there. During the game, Caleb and Carter were playing with a dog, so I looked around to see if the people with the dog was around, and maybe Caleb had gone after them, but they were gone too.

I started to panic real bad. My heart is pounding and I'm feeling my eyes water already. Only a few minutes had passed, but that's usually how long it takes, right?

Katie asked me if I found him, and I said no. I told Tatyana to stay with Alyssa and I was going to run around and probably go back to the car. Maybe he was there. Chris had taken Carter to the bathroom and was on his way back to the soccer field. I told him, already crying: "I don't know where Caleb is." I was very grateful to have Katie and Chis there, helping me look for Caleb.

I called Roman, which wasn't a very good idea. There was nothing that he could do. He wasn't anywhere near to the soccer field. He told me to call the police and once I got to the car and saw that Caleb wasn't there, I started to dial 911.

I think that maybe five minutes had passed. This whole time I was walking around screaming Caleb's name. I noticed people looking at me... I was hoping someone would offer to help.

The 911 operator answers the phone, and I couldn't put together my thoughts or my sentences: "My son is gone... I had three with me... one disappeared... I need help... I don't know where he is." All of that in a crying, hysterical voice. I don't know if she really could understand me.

I'm walking back to the soccer field and the operator is transferring me to the operator in Provo. By the time they answered, Tatyana had already ran towards me and told me that they found Caleb. I told them: "I think they found him, let me make sure."

I saw him from where I was standing. I said: "We found him." I hung up the phone, brought my hands to my face and cried. I cried loud, I cried desperate, I cried relieved. I don't remember ever crying like that; I don't remember ever feeling the way I felt. I felt Katie's arms around me... I don't know what I would have done if Chris and Katie were not there.

I heard Caleb's voice. "Hi mom", he said. I looked down and he was right in front of me, looking up and smiling. I saw the sun shining on him as if I was being blessed again. One more time he was brought back to me, safely.

All the thoughts that went through my mind. What if...

Those five to ten minutes were the longest minutes in my life.

People were staring. One woman in particular that I saw on the parking lot was back to the soccer field too, looking at us, keeping her distance. I think she wanted to help...

I cried all the way home. I cried when I got home and saw Roman. I cried before I got to bed, and I'm still crying right now. I know it was just few minutes, it's hard to explain why this is so traumatizing... I really thought I lost him.

Hopefully he will learn from this and so will I. I need to be more careful with him than other mothers are with their kids... I also hope that this is the last episode of this saga. I don't think I can handle this very well...